Monday, September 22, 2008

Vitamin - M : Dosage 2

I would be adjudged as a finicky guy, from the previous dosage. But my dear man/lady, just a quick question... "Is it perfectly normal to behave otherwise on days other than Friday??"

Having termed that post as Dosage-1, it goes without saying you would have to suffer yet another blow from me! Having said this..... Welcome to Dosage 2 :)

Certain things don't change: Discalimer - Remember this is MY Blog!! :)

Many would've got accustomed to standing in long queue(s) in the Food-Court for lunch. Picture the busy food court where everyone is in a rush to complete their grub and head back to the cubicle for.... (U kno wat... Do I have to state it? ). In this haste their definition of a Q changes a little..... Something, that was growing vertically now starts growing Horizontally... Soon you’d witness a bunch of hungry hippos in front of the counter!!

It WAS a rule of Vertical Q that the first is served first. In the present case, you imagine the plight of the vendor on the other side of the counter! Poor chap would be having a tough time serving these busy "Mannered" professionals! Whom does he serve in this maddening crowd?? I shall get back to this poor chap in a short span of time......

Resuming back to the queue on the customer side of the counter, I had a guy standing right behind me in d Q, whose face reflected, that he had been battered by his boss for his over-smart subordinates! Bingo.... yet another s/w engg!! He seemed to be in a big rush..... For what? I was not able to figure out! It didn't unnerve me for this guy was getting a lil' panicky for standing in Q!! After observing a couple of things, finally I get to be served, placed ma order and slipped a currency to the vendor, Thnx to the vendor's over-developed math mind.... he was still fidgeting his calculator to check the total! Guess that would have been driving my Q-mate a lil crazy... The total was not calculated that the Q-mate starts drifting and reaches beside me. He would have figured out from my looks that this is a vertical Q, and starts yelping his order. The vendor gave him a cold shoulder! Well i got back the change and was eagerly waiting for my drink!!! Guess wat i didn't know that the Q-mate felt like drinking the same stuff. It’s a queer world! - I thought..

This specimen showed its true colors in the acid test called "Are you suffering from Vitamin-M deficiency?" by grabbing the drink that the vendor lent out to me!! (Has to be right, for I placed the order first). Absolutely unconcerned, what the vendor and the people around would think of him!!! For certain, I would have let him go ahead, had he opened his gob while in the queue. Funny are some people. This is Indian Public.

PS: I can only vent out my anger on this post... But, put yourself in that position and get a feel of what it is to be treated like that!!

I told you.. won’t ignore the poor chap!! This bugger, whatever is the count of the ppl in front of his counter, would only serve females first [The disadvantage of not having a gal!! ;) ]!! Haven't experienced this yet?!??!?? Then... You haven't got served!!

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Monday, August 4, 2008

Vitamin 'M' - Dosage 1

To the voracious readers, witty brains and critics... This is my first post on my blog... So i wudn't be pleasing anyone.... As I jus' stated "This is MY Blog" so i don't care a Rat Shit for what you think... Pardon me for my FRENCH! But, you are invited to pour your heart out.... :)

ViTaMiN-M... Nah I ain't gonna talk about the want or lack of ‘M’oney.... quite an intriguing name for a blog then, ain't it? [You hav to agree with it! For, again its MY Blog ;-) ].

To figure out Y…. Picture this:

A Friday evening, (needless to say Bengaluru’ spirit would be at its peak). To add to the pandemonium, if the weekend's a long one, then only Mr.Fate can save you from the clutches of B’luru traffic. Now to make things a lil’ cozy for the so called "Geeks" or the IT professionals there are Volvo Buses [addressed from now on as VBus, for ease of typing] plying around the city. Now Sample this, majority of these passengers are pretty much from the BIG BRAND IT Cos/ Service Cos. To anyone gazing them from outside the VBus, they would look like the elite and well-'M'annered and polished professionals.

Rolling back to Friday evening, we are now at a bus stop and we see the vBus approachin', the Prospective Passengers are seen pretty relaxed and not over-excited [now work has sucked the spark out of them, we really can't blame those helpless creatures. If it were a kid, he/she would have been overwhelmed to see a VBus approaching, as far as I am concerned, I was elated that I would be getting back home comfortably]. Now the best part is when the doors open for the Prospective Passengers to get on-board. The point to note is "Prospective". For those who have not travelled by the comfort on wheels, it is a nauseatic feeling to step into a VBus, trust me. You needn’t get to an amusement park for a Columbus ride. The best part is when you are in, and yet to figure out a place for yourself and the there goes the driver giving the VBus a full throttle. [You've almost had a high without a joint!! Not that I have smoked joints but collated that info from a couple o movies]

I’ve been digressing a lot…( I guess). Resuming the transmission, so the VBus has arrived, and the doors are yet to be opened. The so-called "WELL-BEHAVED-AND-MANNERED-GEEKS" who seemed sober and relaxed a moment ago, get a pang of berserkness once the door opens and start pouncing on each other breaking a way into the VBus. Least bothered if there are women and others fellow passengers with luggage, boarding the same God forsaken VBus.

Dude!! C'mon you'll were alright a while ago, did hell break lose over you’ll?!?! I don't think there is a loo in the vehicle that all had to attend the call of nature at d same stroke Or Hello! Is someone serving chocolates for free Or may be I missed reading "Offer Valid till stocks last". I h've never observed the driver push off without getting you'll on-board till date. Then Y on earth you people trying to barge in?

May be old habits die hard. The Govt. Buses (addressed from now on as GBus for ease of typing) would have pampered the Indian public so much that they almost forgot that this is a VBus!

After worming into the VBus, I happened to get a place for my arse, I woz taken for a surprise by a negotiating neighbor. (Neighbour in a bus?? Yeah…. I meant a huge co-passenger). This guy jus' started stretching [A better metaphor would be EXPANDING / SWELLING] as soon as he placed his arse on his seat and the two of us had to settle in with a 60-40 stake of the seat!! I couldn’t tolerate dis but there woz something more in store for me…. I begin to realize that we are sharing the same news-paper (ET), and forces me into a conversation, didn’t take long for him to get on to stocks and equity stuff. I abhor talking about d number crunchin’ stuff, which would have been evident to him from the my facial expressions, giving him more leeway to YAP…It didn’t take long for my neighbor to turn into my Free of cost Financial Advisor!! I had to finally cut d crap by answering my roomies call! Long live my roomie. :)

People really make you get on to your nerves…. But one thing's for sure, they are reinforcing the fact that education can't help them any further. They still would remain the same - ILLITERATE. :)

In those GBUs' one would observe that the Ladies have a separate seating area [I am not getting at why it is so! ;) ]. On the other hand, men would have to rush thro' the other door. Now, pushing here and making a way thro' the crowd o'er here is perfectly understandable. [Brotherly love, not a euphemism for BROTHERLY which your corrupt mind perceives]

People!! Open your eyes at least now and come out of the trance of a GBus. The VBus doesn't function like that. Grow up!! The questionable part from the above observation is did the public transport committee think that the VBus would be used judicially by the well-'M'annered or it would make people realize that they should be well mannered? So, were they successful? (I Doubt it BIG TIME). Again, it’s the system right!! Would like to suface this quote.. “Be thankful we're not getting all the government we're paying for.”

The Indian Attitude surfaces out doesn’t? Can't you'll be more organized and orderly?!?!? Probe on this folks! May be it’s a probable reason for a good number of Indians to remain sans orderliness. After all it’s our birth right isn’t? ;)

Hope you intercepted, why I referred the passengers as "Prospective", after the hush-hush the ones plannin' to travel would no more be passengers but Patients! :D

Is there an expiry date to their ViTaMiN-M pill? Huh??

Bet none would have had this habit of procrastinating something like bloggin... like it’s o'er a year dat i created dis blog space for myself and I am penning down my thots now..... I owe a sincere thank to ma workplace for blocking this site for a while and while it is made accessible thanks to them for givin' me work (for which v r underpaid) that added to the procrastination... While I woz typing this out, I had my manager calling for me and my dear neighbor (The client) peeping into my PC, inquisitive to know what am I up to! Well that calls for lack of Vitamin-M again!!

Guess you might hav figured out by now.... What was intended as Vitamin ‘M’ [Manners – incase your dull mind didn’t!! ;) ]

Hope u had a good read!! :)
U r invited to make d comments as bloody as possible! But keep it decent... lol... ;)

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